Week 4 - UGH!
I’m nearing the point where just a couple more days separate me from having stayed in Morocco longer than any other country I’ve visited before. There’s a part of me that is proud of this nearing accomplishment and another part that’s just screaming why didn’t you leave when you had the chance! Only thing getting me through is knowing that each passing moment is bring me closer to what I consider to be normal.
This past week has been rough and borderline miserable; problems everywhere, work, personal life and with the host family. On Tuesday, our supervisor kicked out two kids for coming in late...even though that’s never been an issue before. I went to bring the two students back because they come to class consistently and have been improving and I didn’t want them to get behind. I bring them back only to have the supervisor kick them out again, and what was worse was the kids apologized when they weren’t at fault. And it broke my heart the next day when I saw that they were the first two in class that day.
That same night we had a group dinner and I was talking to another volunteer about how “jelly” I was that he got to work with little kids. So ironically, the next day, the 3-5 year olds that I was supposed to work with (as was originally advertised by the program) finally showed up! UGH! They just did not understand that I don’t speak Arabic, that I have enough to get by but other than that I will not know what you’re saying to me. They would not be quiet and got super excited about everything and were consistently out of their seats. They were also the cutest things ever and if I could have a class with just them that would have been fine, but I had older kids in the class who were not amused by how slow the class was running to accommodate the kids.
We had more issues with the taxi drivers and getting to work than ever before! Some wouldn’t take us to work, others dropped us off a half mile away from where we’re supposed to get dropped off, another expected us to pay a ridiculous amount of money, etc. So now we’ve started taking the bus in the morning and the taxi on the way back.
I’m soon learning that all issues are solvable and that you just need to be patient. Things take time here, thats what I have been told from day one and now I believe it. These experiences are definitely making me stronger...or at least more stubborn. I can hold my ground better and I will not take no for an answer!
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| Ate McDonalds after 9+ years |
Kinza,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have had quite a week! Just remember, you're still alive and well! I can't say that I understand totally what you're feeling, but I also went abroad too and had the same sort of feelings. It's like a hit a wall. That combined with all of the other issues that week made me want to give up. Problem is.. there really is no giving up, so you have to push through.
I think that you've been doing a great job so far. You said something really inspiring, "All issues are solvable". That's right.. and even if they aren't solvable, they will fizzle out. At that moment, the students being removed from class and paying extra for a taxi, is absolutely infuriating and frustrating. After a few days or even a few hours, you are able to sit back and really reflect on what happened. I feel like that is what this blog post is all about.
Keep you head up! Eat at McDonalds if you must and fry those chicken nuggets! Anything to help comfort you in a time when you feel very disconnected. Keep up the great work. Keep in mind that these issues would have happened even without you- so you're not causing any of it- you just happen to be in the middle. If you need anything, please feel free to email or Skype me. I'd be happy to talk!
I'm looking forward to a better week. I can't wait to read your post.
Best,
Tammy